Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize