Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
