Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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