some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
