My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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