Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
