Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
