Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize