Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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