I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
