let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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