I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
