Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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