I just made out with a guy for $7.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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