Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
