Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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