Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
