is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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