He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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