do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
