pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Randomize
