I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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