he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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