i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Farmville is her only friend.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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