we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
