I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
