yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
