she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
