I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
