my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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