i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
