Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
