Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
