I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm always down for nudity.
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