This girl is more easily done than said...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
