I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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