That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize