ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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