well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
