her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
