He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
