he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
