How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
