YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Still dying that you shit outside
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
