just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
