i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
