Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
two words...techno handjob
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
