This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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