Soap is not a condiment
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
