I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
