Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
