I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
