So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
