No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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