He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
