i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
