waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize