there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
