Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
