He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
