I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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